After our missed liaison in IC, Clem flew to our home town. His goal, at this point was talking to Mom to persuade her to be evaluated by a psychologist so that she might be able to drive legally again. In IC, my role was to help Clem brainstorm strategies in order that he feel more secure in broaching the subject. I wanted to do this for him. Circumstances beyond my control led me to stay home. In one respect, my partner was acting controlling, one relative was lying to me about her whereabouts, and my kids were the slightest bit sick. So I didn't go and spent the time on the phone with him as he toured the places around IC where I hung out and where I worked as a bartender. I missed it. That was 2 months to the day before Clem was killed.
After Clem spoke with Mom and Dad, because we also needed to address his behavior as well, Mom had an 'incident' where my nieces were in the camper down by the lower concrete platform of my parents' house. Mom was at the top of the steps, she turned to leave and had what we can only guess was a mini stroke. By the grace of god or fate or something, Mom missed the concrete platform. When paramedics arrived, her blood pressure was 200/100. I replayed this and many memories shortly after Clem's death. I love my Mom, but wondered why God didn't take her that day and spare Clem. Mom has longed for death for as long as I can remember, saying that she knows she will go to heaven because she has lived through hell on earth. We would have grieved, mourned and missed Mom, but it wouldn't have torn at our hearts and souls like losing Clem.
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