Oh Clem...

Last night was the first night in about a week that I got tired on my own and had to fight to stay awake. So what do I do? I became obsessed with finding a particular picture of you. I still haven't found it, though I found a sweet pic of you and Austin when he was a baby. It was taken at aunt Jeri's one Easter. You are both wearing stripes. God, how you love those kids. and Heather. I'm fairly sure I know how you died, Clem. The question that my heart longs to answer is "Why??" Why did the God to whom you were devoted take you so early. Why did evil win out in this case, Clem? You could have done so much more good alive than dead. You would have had your chance to confess your sins and be cleansed of them. What went wrong? At first I blamed Grandma Julia. I love her so much. She was like a surrogate mother to us--you and me. I think God took Uncle Dick the year before as a sort of way to get us our family prepared for G.Julia's death. And to protect her from Grandpa, if by some chance he actually made it into heaven, now that the Roman Catholic church does not have a limbo. When I went to the grocery store the other night, I asked you to send me some songs on the channel of my radio station. You sent 'whole lotta love' and 'the Rose'. I thank you for that.